back again
finally quit my job
i meant it, i finally left the company
didnt accept boss's request to stay for one more month
truth speaking, it really very stressed working there
with little guidance

okay, shall not talk about it

now, i have plenty of time studying for my upcoming exam
i just hoped i can get really good results
i need to put in more efforts

now, with no monthly income
it means i have to save

alright..........
now, i didnt expect much

CNY coming soon
one more week to go
am i waiting for this new year?

i doubt so.....
i am leaving Singapore and not celebrating here
i mean, i going to Nepal for holidays
just a plain holidays
my first time CNY, celebrating in elsewhere

this was purely not my plan, not my idea
CNY is the time we meet up with relatives, cousins, etc
but now..
i left with no choice

today, 20.01.2010 was one of my sad day
baby girl only one week old
and had just passed away

i thought new year had begun
and we had something to busy to
something to celebrate
something to joy for
but now,
my hope is gone, she is gone, her life is gone

maybe i am regretting now
why must i work?
is her life better than my job?

i dont know and i dont wish to find the answer out
maybe this is not her wish too

i took 2 days mc just because i knew she is coming to this earth
and i took one unpaid leave just to make sure she is well fed
i talked to her everday, i fed her everyday
i really dont mind that 10mins to feed her with milk before and after work

maybe that 10mins was too little for her,
she needs more care and time from us

just a short one week, i am really cried for her
i missed her small body
i missed her yawning faces
i missed carrying her with my hand
and i missed feeding her

goodbyes, baby girl
you are my love, goodbye

it had been quite a long time since i last posted
2009 was the history
2010 is the present

thought of resigning of my current job
on the last day of 2009
but i requested to extend for one more month
and so, my good boss agreed to it

on a happy note, i took one unpaid week
for the first week of 2010
heeee
going to Genting - 6th to 8th jan

hooray!

i must say that i really facing stressed
went to hospital to see my doctor
and he didnt really support me of going for CT scan
because i did those tests and tested that my brain is fine
and doing CT scan repeatedly might ended up with brain tumor
sound dangerous

think twice and give up the idea of doing this scan
alright then
dear had helped me type my resignation letter
it depends when i wanna submit
because i had not been sleeping well
ever since i started working this

dear supports me of resigning
but thinking of the first bonus i may be getting
i really drop the idea again
if i really cannot take it, my letter is ready

sad to hear that i cant relax even when i wanted to sleep
work work work
studies after work
i cant continue to lose sleep
because i might end up depression

i am tired and sleepy

all i hoped for is just one week leave day
i need to adjust my life
wish me good luck~

2nd day mc
didnt rest much
couldnt sleep at night
when i fall sleep, it going 5am

i wanted to quit my job
my job gave me stressed
all along, i thought i have been used to it
to my new working environment
but then, i realized i didn't managed to

its give me more trouble
to quit or take more leaves?
i dont know

have i regret of taking account course?
have i not consider the consequence when i take this course?
or maybe have i been weak in physically?

i want freedom
i want my life back
i dont want this type of life that i survived now

i need rest
i need more rest to help me feel stronger in every ways

what should i do?
talk to boss or boss's sister?
or keep it all to myself?

i cant take it every now and then
i cry when i cant sleep at night
why is me again?
why?
why every bad things fall on me?

is this my fate? my life?
please, anyone tell me off

i want studies more than my job
i need more time to adjust

im tired now,
very tired of my job

its been quite a super long time since i last post
im super tired after a long day at work
i must say that my job isnt a simple job
i dont have a single day to relax myself
unless is a weekend

now i got sick again
because of stressed
i really very fed up with my job
i have so many things in my hand
and i need to rush before the penalty

i going back to hospital to checkup again
my headache on-off back
i hate it !
even my mc day, i wouldnt study much
and and...
my mc left with 2days
how am i going to survive till end of 2009?

i must say that im begining to feel weak
i need rest
give me some days to relax
i want holidays

being quite a long while i didnt post
due to my very stressed and tight working and studying environment

i'm studying at the same time now
and i cant really cope with it
i'm learning at work and school

i started to hate studies cause i cant get the answer
no matter how many times i tried out, i cant get the answer
i need some leave days to settle my studies

i know i have been taking 3 days MC less than a month
and i dont know will my boss be thinking that i'm too weak?

i hate work at the start cause i'm a no experience in this line
and i need to learn and absorb new things
but now, maybe i'm coping well with my work
hopefully it can last longer

i'm quite stressed and tired after work
i cant be the same as i worked in harvey norman before
i need to go home after dinner to get enough sleep
and, if i cant finish my work, i cant sleep well
and i hate to work OT cause no claim

anyway, my job is stressed
i do not want to get sick cause of stressed
i need to sleep now

my blog had been dead
surposed to start work at 1st july but..
boss called up and asked me start work early
due to someone is resigning
so have to so called ' take over ' her

anyway, i should say, the first day was damn stressed up
because i didnt have any experience and have to start from scratch
which made me damn damn hard to absorb alot of things at the same time

now, already my forth day of work, i should say..
my pc has no internet explorer and cant make any personal calls
but, i am learning and getting to see clearer picture of what to do

i must challenge myself, i must not resign so fast
when i faced problem
i must learnt from enuice because she has no accounts background and no experience
yet, she is doing so fine right now

jia you jia you!

wanted to change my blogskin to a better look
but who knows, i changed from template to layout
its like damn ugly
i simply hate this layout

though its sort of easy to use as compare to template
but still, i dont like this layout

i hate my new look of blog
tell me how am i going to change back to the old template

i am not in the mood to blog
i need to go out

sometimes i do wonder why some people dont like to listen to other's advice?
advice is told to be benefits or good to someone
but why cant he listen to us?
dont he think that ours advice is to be listened
than an outsider?
i hate to hear you complaint this and that
cause we had told you numerous times to stop whatever nonsense
stop complaining!
i hate that!

i hate the way you are now
i hate the attitudes you gave us
personally, i dont hate you but the changes you have made

seriously, FAMILY stands for :
Father
And
Mother
I
Love
You

what makes it a home sweet home?
isnt after school or work, you get home, you will find warm home with all your love ones waiting for you?

what am i thinking?
why am i thinking of the negative side?

i hoped that we can be before
i used to hope that the time will stop for just one day
but now, i dont
i hoped that the time can move faster than before
i dont mind getting old
cause i wanna change my mindset that there is a home sweet home
there is a home where i should belong

today is a boring first day of work
just sit there stare blindly at those people
the smell of xxx is making me so sick of them
i just couldn't stand their smell

why why why?
why am i working this job when i just cant stand certain type of people?
the smell and the language of them made me wanna walk out of the room

why am i so unlucky to work at the main and not the branch?
why must i wait for 3months to get the uniform unlike the branch, they can get their uniform on the second day?
why am i so suay not to work at the thumb print section?

anyway, i am not going to work
i am resigning tomorrow
the reasons are, i need to get up early like 5.30am?
and yes, i am kena 'conned' to get there by 8am today
and ended i punched my card at around 8.03am
and and, they told me that i start work at 8.30am
which means they counted my time in is 8.30am
*wtf*
they thought i stay damn near to the workplace
or just to let them see i reached there damn early?

fine, everthing's so fine
i need to resign just to make sure i attend my lesson punctual
just to make sure i didnt skip my lesson
just to make sure i have my dinner before i go for my lesson
okay, shall see how

how i miss the times i spent with you
i love the feelings you rush down to have dinner with me
you throw aside your work just to accompany me
all the little things you done for me,
i appreciated a lot
please dont leave me behind
and stay by my side
promise me, my dear?

last few days, mood wasn't that good
kept throwing tempers at dear
think is mood swing or period?
true enough, it came last night
was it a bad thing?
to me, it always a bad thing

i hate my period!
i cant survive like normal girl
i will feel the cramps
sometimes the pain really want my life
i have to swallow pain killer just to relieve the pain
alright, hoped it faster go away

tomorrow start my new job
which introduced by my mei's friend
hopefully my cramp will behave herself
please dont give me any trouble and pain

wish me good luck!

exams finally come to the end
maybe will resume in july?
not too sure, have to check if the NTUC have approved?
anyway, not to worry so much

now, i have time and i need to enjoy myself
miss my bestfriends :)
she still remember when i finished my exam
and she did sms me..
heehee
okay, maybe will catch up with them next week

tomorrow work again
*sigh*

congrats me for finishing level 1 examination
met someone(ah bing) on my way to chinatown with my classmates
couldn't catch up with him cause we saw each other on the up-down escalator
and while on my way back to northpoint for study
met another 2 people

one was my 4 years form teacher-Mr Leong since sec 1
he is the one who changes my attitude with all his patience
i know i am stubborn from the start of sec1 to sec4
hate geography so much that i didnt buy the workbook
just cause i wanna save money on this, HAHAHA
but he was able to change me to a better person
on my N or O level( couldnt remember)
he gave me an encouragement bookmark for me
to boost my confidence?
i swear i am the only one he gave me and i still kept it

the other was my one year form teacher(sec2) and some years was my math teacher-Mr How
he gave me a bad remarks in my report book
but who cares?
report book isnt meant to be shown to my future boss right?
(one more think is Mr Albert Tan, couldnt remember as he didnt teach me at all)

anyway, chit chat with them and back to my revision
told my classmate that the red t-shirt(Mr Leong) was once my form teacher
and he said: 'wow, your teacher looks young'
for what i see, what i observe
they are still the same
they once my teacher
they once taught me

i dont care what others think of them
cause they are the one who sees me grow
they are the one who makes me grow

alright then, today isn't TEACHERS' DAY
but i am thankful that i am able to catch up with them

tomorrow is my exam and yet,
still couldn't concentrate on my revison

nobody care for me
even my little ones go for their evening nap
maybe they do not wanna disturb me
but for whatever reason,
i hoped they stay by side

i am lazy nowadays
i didnt even bother about my exam
i have no mood to study

but i have already planned my schedule after my exam
why cant i just study first and plan later?

wish me good luck for my exam

post this early afternoon
and have made up my mind to delete away

i know i have abit of 'nothing to do'
maybe deleting it away will save me from family conflict
whoever have read, you are lucky enough

i cant concentrate on my revision
study for awhile, disturb my 2 little ones
i need some sleep
i am tired
maybe my heart is not here
maybe i need to go out for some walk
maybe...
i cant make any assumption right now
i know my exam is next monday
i need to buckup now
i want to score well
damn it!
i want to find my heart back!!!

overdue photos which was taken on our trip to jin bao

overdue posts:

first,
Happy belated 21st Birthday to Xuan Hong
on 23rd may

second,
Happy belated 21st months anniversary on 24 may
for our long run relationship together

next,
sometimes i do wonder why people yearn for the past
instead of the future?
okay, i admit that i am one of them
but what can do if i keep thinking of returning to the past?
isn't time will stop just for me?

the answer will definitely be NO
time will move on and on
unless is the end of the world

there is someone i keep thinking
sometimes i do miss her
sometimes i hope that i have more time for her
sometimes i do hope that when i think of her,
she will be by my side
sometimes when i am out and see father and mother
going out with children
that make me envious of them
why am i losing my mother at the age of 17?
when i am preparing my O level and she is the one who left me
why god chose her to leave us?

i still remembered clearly
when i was preparing for my N level,
she is the one who watched me and falled asleep
when i was busy doing my revision
she is the one who stayed overnight just to accompany me

seriously, i miss mother's love
i hate to celebrate mother's day with my ah ma
she is my ah ma and not my mother
where is my mood to celebrate mother's day
when my mum is not around??

okay then,
somehow i think my mum is an innocent victim
she is the bravest mum who just fought and fought to live on

going to malaysia later on
pray for my health to get better
bon vogage for our trip
will be back on tuesday night

did some researches on those people who borns in dragon year
cause dear said i and his mother's characters almost the same
the most similarity is we are both born in dragon


PARTNERS IN LOVE
Dragon*Rat
A brilliant relationship-plenty of love, mental sensitivity and understanding. Tipped for happiness.
Dragon*Ox
When it comes to being obstinate, Dragons have met their match in the Ox. The give and take essential for a happy marriage is lacking in this partnership
Dragon*Tiger
A gutsy combination full of gusto to fuel passions
Dragon*Rabbit
Your obstacles will either unite or divide you
Dragon*Dragon
If you learn to share the spotlight, you can accomplish anything together
Dragon*Snake
Clever, crafty and quick-witted-you fit together like pieces of a puzzle.
Dragon*Horse
You share a powerful sexual chemistry.
Dragon*Sheep
Despite the sexual attraction, eventually you'll find too many differences to overcome.
Dragon*Monkey
You share opinions and goals that destine you for happiness.
Dragon*Dog
A truly tumultuous affair-not recommended for peace of mind.
Dragon*Pig
A caring and deeply affectionate relationship.
Dragon*Rooster
You make a beautiful couple, but your egotism blinds you.


researches and researches still couldn't get the answer
*sad*

why should i care if you people didnt bother at all?
dont ask me who am i refering to
cause i just wanna keep everything peace

awaiting for next monday
malaysia with my dad, mei and dear
lalalalala
so happy
though i know it gonna be a boring trip,
i still like it
hahaha